You’ve tried different sex positions, now it’s time to use simpler methods – read on to know more!
Ladies, are you currently experiencing ennui in your sex life? You love him to bits, and he is still crazy about you, but the sex has all but fizzled out. So, what should you do? We tell you.
1 Let him take it easy.
He’s often tired out from long hours at the office, and though he loves having sex with you, sometimes he is not up to it physically. An exhausted man is often unable to get a strong erection, or sustain it for long. And contrary to popular opinion, men are not always in the mood for sex. He might just wish to cuddle with you and go to sleep – the prospect of grinding and thrusting against you till he ejaculates and you get an orgasm is more than he can stand when he is already knackered out.
Mix it up: Do the ‘heavy lifting’ for once. If he is tired, give him a sensual massage and bring him to an orgasm while you use one hand to pleasure yourself. Or use a vibrator while he enters you from behind, so that you can orgasm faster. Or just let him touch and explore your body till he gets sufficiently hard and in the mood to go all the way. Cutting him some slack will help him appreciate you more – and he will want you more as well!
2 Surprise him.
You’ve probably settled on a favourite position for both of you – but sex in the same position always can get really boring. It soon becomes a chore where the two of you are present physically, but not emotionally. Sex is not meant to be a mechanical act, but an experience combining sensuality, exploration and a connection of both mind and body.
Mix it up: Try something new, but not something totally outrageous that will shock him to the core. The next time he rolls you over into your usual sex position, turn right around and roll him over. If you’ve always had sex in the missionary position, try the woman-on-top position and watch him get crazy excited and quicker to respond than ever before. Or drop into the shower when he’s in there and join him – the warm water helps foreplay and you can have exciting sex in the shower. But be careful about springing a vibrator or a BDSM move if you haven’t done either ever before – he might be too shocked to continue, so take it slow.
3 A bit of role play never hurt anyone.
You’ve known each other for years, and there is scarcely any detail about each other’s lives or bodies that you are unfamiliar with. While you revel in the comfort you share with your partner, that same feeling of comfort can also breed complacency. You are so used to the way he dresses, behaves, eats, talks and has sex with you, that there is no element of mystery left in him any more – and he probably feels the same way about you as well! Your relationship has now progressed into drudgery, and things can go downhill from here.
Mix it up: Be a different person – literally. Try some role play with him, where the two of you assume fictional identities of two people meeting for the first time. Role play adds a vivid new dimension to your romantic life – by assuming another identity, you soon assume new traits and kinks that he was not aware of. It gives you the chance to express yourself in a different way than he is used to. This is extremely exciting for your sex life – it’s like two strangers are attracted to each other for the first time!
4 Bring the sweetness back.
You’ve probably tried the kinkiest sex positions, said and done the raunchiest things to each other in bed, and tried a wide variety of vibrators and other sex toys between the two of you. But there are times when you think wistfully of the little things the two of you did for each other that made life really sweet – he would get you flowers, you would drop by at his place of work to take him out on a surprise date, the two of you would share household chores…it’s the little things that create love.
Mix it up: All is not lost – bring the sweetness back into the relationship. Give him a neck and shoulder massage when he’s tired from work. Buy him a new shaving kit and expensive cologne. In bed, use your vibrator on the underside of his penis to excite and bring him to a shuddering orgasm. If you used to leave love notes for him to find, do that again. Or send him sexy texts when he is at work. He will soon reciprocate with sweet gestures of his own.
5 Take a break.
Couples who have been together for long are so habituated to each other that they might emotionally switch off from the relationship. If this is happening to you, and the relationship is worth saving and exploring further, you need to take action at once.
Mix it up: It seems like strange advice, but being apart from each other for a brief space of time can work wonders for your relationship. Absence certainly makes the heart grow fonder, and time spent apart will help both of you appreciate each other a lot more.